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 by Nancy

Float Like a Butterfly

float300x225float like a butterfly
sting like a bee

If those two lines don’t bring up a great visual, Muhammad Ali will likely come to mind.

Carol Dweck’s book Mindset, The New Psychology of Success, and her TEDTalk introduced me to the two less familiar lines of the poem.

your hands can’t hit
what your eyes can’t see

Ali was on to something, he excelled in his ability to see and respond in split-second timing, but he was not the typical candidate for a great fighter. Ali was too small, his arms were too short, his bad boxing form was wrong, and yet he was able to knock out many an opponent. Ali was an outlier in the ring, he was able to outthink his opponent.

In Mindset, Dweck explores how what we believe can pre-determine the outcome. “The view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life.” It’s not either/or – the nature, nurture, genes, or environment debate, but rather how what we believe, influences the choices we make.  Ali believed he was a great fighter.

Seeing and responding in the moment is a skill that requires awareness and practice.

That is what working with horses has taught me. As soon as I begin to assume an outcome with a horse, they will surely outfox me. Each colt I start is similar, and oh so different, it is up to me to find where I need to assist and where I have to get out of the way. Easier said than done, as like a boxer, sometimes it is split-second timing that determines whether you stay in the saddle or hit the dirt.

In working with a horse we need to be as effective as a fly without being as annoying as one. It never ceases to amaze me how often people begin their participation in The Natural Leader programs with the statement, “I won’t be able to get the horse to do anything”. According to Dweck, this is a fixed mindset, and quite often they do prove themselves to be correct. They either don’t try or work too hard to make the horse comply. With a little coaching some can turn the liability of a fixed mindset, into one of growth.

What I love about “being effective as a fly” is that it suggests that it isn’t about strength, or trying harder, but it truly is about exploring what it will take to connect with the horse in a way that the horse understands your intention. It is about taking the time it will take.

Fortunately, workplace conversations don’t often require split-second decisions that boxing or horses might. Starting a conversation from a growth mindset is what coaching is all about. Listening and observing to what is happening and being said allows us to ask questions that truly can determine the outcome of the conversation.

Our ability to see is only limited by how we decide to look. The image of one participant comes to mind, he was having so much fun with the tasks we had given him, he backed Seth over the bridge.

The task was to get the horses to go forward over it. With no previous horse experience, this gentleman had approached the problem as something that could be explored.  He had Seth step up a full 10” backwards on a 3 foot wide bridge. For those of you who know horses that is no small feat!

Employing the growth mindset and embracing the idea of being effective as a fly Seth and his partner floated around the arena, asking Seth to do what I hadn’t even imagined. I have lost touch with that individual, but he continues to impact others as I share his story in an effort to inspire others to find a growth mindset.

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 by Nancy

What Do You See?

WhatDoYouSee300x225

“I understand you are scared. I appreciate there is an experience behind your fear.  I am asking  “What behaviours have you seen demonstrated by the horses that would suggest that you need to be concerned? ”

Therapy is not something that I do with The Natural Leader programs, so when I encounter someone who has been traumatized with horses I do not have the degree to back me up. I can only go with what I see. Leadership is about demonstrated behaviour and a conversation I am quite comfortable with, so behaviour is where my focus lies.

Fear can be a great motivator, a tool for learning or it can paralyze us. What I hope for those who are fearful is that they can recognize how fear, or the story, that is holding them back from achieving more in their career or life.

Too afraid to even enter the arena, a participant of a recent program had been watching her peers go through a series of activities with the horses. Before heading up for lunch, I asked if she would be willing to connect with a horse together. I was searching for the invitation she would be comfortable with. Even with that offer, she was hesitant, in fact she flat out refused.

She had shared her story of trauma by horses with the Wranglers and was keen to let me in on the details. I expect she had also told everyone else on her team. Repeating the story not only re-traumatized her, but words of acknowledgement from others appeared to reconfirm her fear.

You can’t tell someone “Don’t be afraid”, so I was looking for the question that would help her step out of her comfort zone. What she had seen – the demonstrated behaviours or facts, rather than what she had believed to be true – the story. When she admitted she had seen nothing that confirmed her fear, she offered that coming into the arena with “one” horse might be okay.

In The Natural Leader programs “Everything is an invitation. An Invitation can be accepted, modified or declined.” I was thrilled she was willing to take that step. I had picked Big Jim. Though large in stature Big Jim is the image of calm and quiet. Still concerned, the introduction was short but she acknowledged she could be beside a horse. She left the arena one big step closer to change.

That afternoon, she volunteered to be the observer. Perhaps it was sharing those observations with her team that helped her believe she was ready to participate. Her smile and the change in her body language that followed suggested the relief that came with the belief she could do this, as her confidence grew so too did her participation.

She needed others to see and believe what she had believed impossible. Leaders are given that responsibility all the time, opening the door to allow someone to step through and experience the change they are seeking.

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 by Nancy

Does Your Leadership Language need an Interpreter?

Leadership300_horzDo people really understand what you are saying? The question came to mind while watching a recent Buck Brannaman clinic.

Since the release of the movie BUCK, people have flocked to his clinics. Perhaps drawn by fame, the romantic image of the cowboy or simply because he is a fabulous horseman. An entertainer as well Buck speaks in metaphor and through stories of his own experience. The classes are large so he suggests “if you behave like an alcoholic you will always think I am talking about you”. Hoping the magic will rub off, people and horses “waller” around the arena for three to four days, often never to return.

For a number of years I have made the drive to Montana to ride with Buck. This year friend, and co-facilitator in The Natural Leader programs, Kristen Cumming came along. Enjoying a cold beer after a long hot day in the arena, a brilliant idea surfaced. Buck needs an interpreter! We laughed at the thought of Kristen, in plain language, doing voice over to what Buck was saying. While it was in good fun, I have to admit the idea has merit.

It was most apparent when he demonstrated a pretty basic maneuver, “With your rein ask your horse to step over with his front feet”, the instruction continues, “open the door for your horse to move through”. Watching people can be painful as their frustration becomes evident as they try harder to do what they don’t understand.

The conversation around “open the door” and the actual meaning of “shift your weight out of the way of the horse’s leg” had me wondering how many people truly understand what their leaders are saying.

All organizations create their own language to set annual goals and objectives, define the quarterly expectations or even the task for the day. Done to aid in the effectiveness and efficiency of communication, just as metaphors do, acronyms replace department names, strategic plans, and programs, meetings are often conducted as if everyone understands the expressions and language. As a leadership consultant, I often find myself asking for the definition so as not to be left behind.

Communication is a common topic in The Natural Leader programs. As people work through an activity with a horse what quickly becomes clear is how much we assume we are communicating when in reality we are possibly only delivering half the message.

Effective communication shows up through the clarity of our intention, actions, emotions and the words we choose, the impact on others shows up in their actions or lack of them. Consider when you have committed to an objective, or idea, and you don’t experience the enthusiasm you were expecting from your team. How do you interpret that? If they had an interpreter, what might they say to you?

People who don’t understand, don’t stay. It is not a reflection of the competency of the leader or their ability, it is simply a communication break down.

All the elements of the activity Buck demonstrated are there. His subtle actions are enough for the horse, but rarely enough for his larger audience, you have to be dedicated and observant. Without seeing the weight shift the metaphor of opening the door has no meaning. A few more specific and concise words would go a long way to more riders understanding how he achieves his results.

If you had an interpreter what words would they choose to complete your thought?

——-

Nancy Lowery, lives and works in Calgary Alberta Canada. Her business The Natural Leader offers powerful leadership training through interactions with horses.

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 by Nancy

Finding Schwung

May2014_zeeSchwung Isn’t that an awesome word?


A few of the definitions you will find are momentum; swing; flourish or impulsion. A German word more often heard in dressage circles, Schwung is much more than any one of those words. The fourth level of the dressage training scale, Schwung refers to “the circuit of energy from the rider through the hind end to the front end of the horse.” or the fluid and seemingly effortless motion of horse and rider moving as one. Successful development of the foundational elements of knowledge, practice and awareness determine if you ever achieve Schwung.

It is this very combination that relates so perfectly to the concept of presence and the art of leadership.As with leadership, the dressage scale is both linear and cyclical. When one point, activity or task is achieved with one individual we have the opportunity to go through it in a similar but different fashion with another. Dressage is the constant pursuit of self improvement.

Relaxation the foundation and first stage of the training scale. This stage is about forward movement and gaining comfort in the company of each other, developing confidence and creating the willingness to learn. Like the foundation of leadership it is about a relationship based on a common language and trust.

Rhythm is about being able to maintain forward motion with clarity and understanding as the tasks become more complex. Here we begin to ask more of the horse and in turn a balance in the roles and responsibilities in the relationship. As we begin to delegate more we can see where another’s behaviour might be a reflection of our request. You are developing your Awareness of Others and your ability to be flexible as you assist someone else to be their best.

Contact is about confident forward motion with a soft, steady connection between horse and rider. Relaxation and Rhythm in place the horse and rider find a common balance point. Here we begin to truly delegate responsibility, encouraging the horse to offer their best.

Ironically Contact is where most relationships begin. Be it horse or human, this is where we know what it is supposed to look like and in the effort to get results we resort to control. In horsemanship it looks like bigger bits, spurs and hard hands, in leadership it is about titles and how much we know and just doing it ourself.

Letting go of the impulse to “take control” is a tough one as it requires us to be confident in the face of the unexpected. It should be about channeling the forward energy and the potential of what it could be. The greatest challenge comes in trusting ourself first and being willing to take the time it takes. Reaching Schwung requires a high degree of self awareness and confidence.

While achieving Schwung may be a goal, it is not the final stage of the Dressage Training Scale. The beauty in choosing an art form is there are so many ways to interpret and apply what you learn. There are no end points in fine horsemanship or leadership, there is always a new opportunity to achieve the seemingly effortless way of being.Achieving Schwung is my current journey in the arena and through the written word. I find Schwung, then I feel like I lose it, It is taking longer than I thought it should it, then again I never realized how much I had to learn. Thank you for joining me on this path.

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 by Nancy

Collecting a Year of Thought

CollectingTen years ago I embarked on a journey. I have the privilege of saying – I love what I do. That doesn’t mean it has been easy. The choices we make come with a cost – sometimes financial, sometimes emotional, sometimes physical & sometimes all three.

Collecting a Year of Thought is the fourth anthology of images, thoughts and quotes from last year’s newsletters.

Read & share the PDF version of the ebook >>  http://thenaturalleader.local/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/AYearofThought2013_eBook.pdf

To read previous eBooks visit >> The Collections 

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 by Nancy

Fear of Flying

YaYas_website_300x225You are buckled in, you notice the flight attendant going through the motions of the safety demonstration. The short delay announcement frustrates you and yet you find yourself gripping the armrest as if the plane relied on this very effort to lift it off the tarmac.

Relax. Statistically you are more likely to get struck down as a pedestrian than die in an airplane.

Our irrational fear of flying was the topic of Michael Enright’s radio interview with Author and First Officer Patrick Smith. Smith suggests the fear is normal and natural, admitting there is something about being thousands of feet above the ground moving at hundreds of miles an hour that generates fear for anyone from passenger to pilot. As inherently unsafe as it may sound, flying has been engineered to be the very opposite.

Enright’s questions clearly reflected his own fear of flying, suggesting Smith’s version of a near miss sound more like a near hit. Smith offers that our fear of flying is more likely the result of an over active imagination, interpreting what we hear from the media rather than one based on facts.Smith dubs this the PEF or Passenger Embellishment Factor. The PEF exaggerates a 20 foot drop in altitude to thousands, a 20 degree bank turns into 60 and a lightening strike becomes a ball of light dancing down the aisle.

PEF easily translates to the Participant Embellishment Factor in The Natural Leader programs. To assess people’s comfort level before entering the arena we always ask. “On a scale of one to ten, one being fearful, ten meaning you might have experience with horses and are quite comfortable with the prospects of the day. What is your comfort level working with a horse?” The number of zero’s and negative numbers we have encountered of late is somewhat unsettling.

What I have noticed, rarely is there a bad experience to go with that fear, the horse simply represents an unknown. So the idea has worked them into such a state they hadn’t slept or were physically ill at the prospect of the day. Their imagination has filled in the blanks and created the “What if” scenarios for this large and powerful animal.

While the work with horses allows people to experience Leadership moments at the threshold of their comfort zone, fear can get in the way of that opportunity. Our goal is to ensure each person is supported through their learning experience in a manner that suits them best. The sessions often give participants a better understanding of when their fears of failing, or falling, are holding them back as leaders.

I have gained a lot of experience on managing fear around horses. You can’t simply tell someone “Don’t be afraid”, however we can provide information that is relevant and immediate, setting a goal that is attainable. So we start with breathing.

When we are fearful we tend hold our breath in anticipation. Our focus of attention is on the future not the present so we are rarely able to respond to the moment. Focusing on breathing helps people remain in the present so they can recognize and assess the physiological response they are experiencing. Once they notice what is happening in their body they are more likely to be able to name it and therefore manage the emotions associated with the feeling.

One reference tool we have used in our programs is The Awareness Wheel, adapted by Jacques & Associates from the work of Miller, Wackman, Nunnally and Saline. The tool helps bring forward a dialogue on what has generated a reaction or an emotion so we might be more thoughtful in our response. Getting participants to focus on their breath helps them become more present to what might be actually happening in the present.

So the next time you find yourself gripping the armrest like everyone’s life depends on it, remember to breathe. Relax your body and your mind so you can actually enjoy the flight.

CBC Radio Interview >>http://www.cbc.ca/player/Radio/The+Sunday+Edition/Segments/ID/2416721253/

Photo: Oliver getting his Ya Ya’s out before I get on!

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 by Nancy

Presence

90daysIt should have been easy. The idea was simple enough, get Gabe used to stuff happening around him.

I have learned how complicated simple can be. Now well past ninety days, we continue one step at a time working through the Tarp Challenge. Gabe remains hesitant about the blue tarp, but what has changed it is that it is no longer about getting him used to the tarp. It is now about how I offer the information and allow him the opportunity to interpret my intention. To a horse everything means something and nothing, means nothing. We are getting closer to nothing.

Horsemanship is a journey and each day with Gabe, each session with people I learn more about how I present myself.  Through recent programs leadership presence has been the focus of conversation. We begin each session asking what would each individual like to get out of their day, defining a goal for themselves. We hear a lot about what they would like to see in their staff, changes in how their communication is received or thoughts that relate to getting others to perform their best, for some it is a challenge to get them to see the role they play in that outcome.

It takes seconds for a horse to figure out a person’s “I statement”. However, having the human articulate it plainly and clearly is another story. When they find it, it is gold for us in the arena.

To be honest it really doesn’t matter whom I pair with who or what activities we have planned for a sessions. The horses simply do what they do and the people will say the the most amazing things. I so love to hear it when someone simply states what they need to do differently as a result of the interactions with the horse. What was challenging for them to articulate in the classroom rolls off their tongue in the arena.

I am so proud of my horses. They do not just tolerate another human on the end of the lead line, but they share with them something that becomes so profound. I know that person is leaving with a whole new perspective on what leadership presence means to them.

Just as it is no longer about getting Gabe used to the commotion going on around him, but rather about how  “I can support and help Gabe understand that he can trust me through whatever may be happening around us.”  I still want Gabe to accept a blue tarp, but it is what I am willing to do in order for him to get there that makes the difference.

What’s in it for me? Immense satisfaction on what I can accomplish if I set my heart and mind to something.

 

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 by Nancy

The 30 Day Tarp Challenge

TarpChallenge300x225A current trend in hot yoga studios is the 30 day challenge. No I have not committed to a yoga challenge, but I did create one of my own. The Thirty Day Tarp Challenge.

Not having experienced anything quite like Gabriel presented, I missed what my horse had been trying to tell me. Stumped as to what to do next, I sought the expertise of others.

The problem becomes who is the right expert? There are a LOT of experts out there with differing opinions on each. The guy I selected has decades of experience starting thousands of colts and having studied with many of the same horsemen I admire. I thought I had found the perfect solution. I also assumed he would be a good teacher.

He got the job done!  I saw a big change in Gabe and our first ride was amazing. In typical cowboy fashion, he is a man of few words so my instruction was “Ride him”. On the surface all appeared well, I believed it would progress from here on in.

While those first rides truly did feel great, once home there was always a slight feeling of what if. In the hands of a very experienced horseman, Gabe had become compliant, but if I was at all tentative he would shut down. The subtle progressed and in a few short rides we were back to where we’d been at before I’d asked for help. There I was on the ground looking at Gabe’s belly, again!

Gabriel had mastered the art of compliance. Had he stayed with the horseman he may well have progressed along the continuum from compliance to engagement, but with me back at the helm progress stalled. Gabe had learned to tolerate things at least until the point where he could no longer. So the moment I created any feeling of doubt, well that was all he needed.

The experience has had me thinking a lot about how we engage consultants to fix problems in the workplace. In our efforts to find a quick solution, get back to doing business and the ever important quest for increased revenue, we hire others to fix a problem. While I know I needed help, what  was more important was what I needed to do once the “new program” was implemented.

That is where mentors and coaches are invaluable. Someone to bounce an idea off of when you are not sure what to do next. I too have found the support I needed and the tarp challenge is one of the tactics to help me through the process of change. I now know the right questions to ask and more importantly how to recognize the precise moment when Gabe shifts from compliance to understanding. The moment of engagement.

We are still at the point that had initially stumped me.  I just better recognize that the process of engagement is not an end result but a continuum. To quote a good friend and horseman Paul Mitchell “30, 60 or 90 days may be great terms in the money market, it means little to a horse.” 

I now know it will simply take as long as it takes, the number of days may simply be a measure. As we near sixty Gabriel is engaging with whatever I ask of him but we are not there yet. Some days it feels like we take a few steps back, but the more I listen to what he is telling me and continue to ask the right questions, we are making great progress. Hard to believe that a tarp would make a horse lighter to ride but that simple challenge is removing the question of doubt in my ability to lead.

The challenge is of course more for me than it is for him. It is about me making the commitment to work through a problem without looking for the quick fix. The benefits have been many our relationship is improving, I better understand where his edges are and how to help him through the hesitation and like the fitness challenge thirty days of yoga may offer, my arms are also a whole lot stronger!

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 by Nancy

There is no shame in getting bucked off

BuckedOffA very unsettled horse was leaping toward me and the chances of one or all four feet hitting me was very high. So yes I moved my feet!

In a horse’s world, who moves who’s feet is a clear case of leader. So while Gabe was trying to unload the saddle, or what he perceived as a threat, moving my feet was NOT what I was supposed to do. Getting the horse to move his feet forward is the goal, to achieve that you need to move yours. This simple, but not necessarily easy tactic, will help him find the comfort and leadership he needs.

At that particular moment, it was hard to determine if being on foot was actually a good thing. Not a bronc rider by skill I have been seeking out help from a few experts to get me work through the glitches so Gabe joined me in Montana to ride with Buck Brannaman. If you have read previous articles or seen the movie BUCK then his philosophy will sound familiar “Horsemanship isn’t about working on the horse, it’s about working on you.” A thought that influences my horsemanship and leadership in The Natural Leader programs.

A recent session once again highlighted the similarities between how horses and people can respond in a stressful situation.

She had executed not one but three downward dog stretches, two with a human on her back. While I noticed Sydney’s outward signs of stress I hadn’t taken into account it began when one woman took her lead. Sydney is a big horse and clearly demonstrates confidence in the herd, though like all horses is very sensitive to people’s stress. I should know by now that when Sydney starts these behaviours no matter how comfortable someone says they are, Syd knows better.

Through the first few strides of the team activity Sydney reached out three times to express her concern. On her third polite attempt contribute to the collective experience I suggested we synch the energy of the group with a deep breath, knowing full well that Sydney’s next attempt to communicate with this woman would not be lips only.

What happened next I expect reflects a typical response to a stressful situation. Rather than a deep yoga like breath I was on the receiving end of a verbal attack, apparently I was the source of all the stress. As if I had been bucked off, I stepped back.

While the participants bite was with words I was not about to let Sydney follow through on her promise. I had to shake off the momentary state of shock and step forward and shut the activity down to debrief what was going on.

When we say a horse is our mirror, through the activity Sydney had been reflecting the stress of the entire group, she was clearly demonstrating her vulnerability and that it was more than she could handle. I wish I could say the debrief was excellent, I have since thought of all the things I should have or could have said.

As Patrick Lencioni outlines in The Five Dysfunctions of a Team identifying vulnerability is the heart of creating trust. The work with horses often brings forward the emotions that expose vulnerability, people may miss or misinterpret it, the horses read it loud and clear. The most challenging part of team work is facilitating what shows up and engaging the team in a dialogue that can continue beyond the activities in the arena.

There is no shame in getting bucked off or failing to show up if we learn from what happened. As a leader I should have stepped in sooner to support Sydney. In my role as a facilitator I should have been able to use the situation to get the group talking about stress in the workplace. I recognize I was unprepared for what happened and I didn’t have the skill or experience to handle what showed up. I do now!

I want to be a better horseman, leader and human being. As long as I consider myself to be a work in progress that vulnerability allows room for improvement. The more I remember to step forward in a stressful situation the easier it will be to be confident and assertive even as I am learning. I may not always do exactly the right thing but at least I will be doing something.

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